Comments on: the big cringe http://happinest.wordpress.com/2008/04/01/the-big-cringe/ Wed, 28 Oct 2009 20:50:19 +0000 http://wordpress.com/ hourly 1 By: talk to me « happinest http://happinest.wordpress.com/2008/04/01/the-big-cringe/#comment-1783 talk to me « happinest Sat, 19 Apr 2008 23:13:11 +0000 http://happinest.wordpress.com/?p=463#comment-1783 [...] some of the best comments ever—like this one from sarah and these from bernadette and phoebe. or these ones from brooklyn mama and tracy and every frickin’ single one of these gorgeous, gorgeous [...] [...] some of the best comments ever—like this one from sarah and these from bernadette and phoebe. or these ones from brooklyn mama and tracy and every frickin’ single one of these gorgeous, gorgeous [...]

]]> By: sheri http://happinest.wordpress.com/2008/04/01/the-big-cringe/#comment-1737 sheri Thu, 03 Apr 2008 15:26:38 +0000 http://happinest.wordpress.com/?p=463#comment-1737 awwww, i love you guys. you're all so smart and great and pretty damn super! thank you. awwww, i love you guys. you’re all so smart and great and pretty damn super! thank you.

]]> By: Tracy http://happinest.wordpress.com/2008/04/01/the-big-cringe/#comment-1736 Tracy Thu, 03 Apr 2008 14:03:08 +0000 http://happinest.wordpress.com/?p=463#comment-1736 Maybe it's easier to think less of ourselves, to think ourselves flawed and imperfect? Once you introduce terms like "supermom", there's a tendency to think you need to work harder and harder to maintain this status. There's a lot less pressure when you think of yourself as less. We should just be who we are. Stop comparing ourselves to others. And somehow (and this is the hard part) learn to be happy with who we are and what we're doing right now. Maybe it’s easier to think less of ourselves, to think ourselves flawed and imperfect? Once you introduce terms like “supermom”, there’s a tendency to think you need to work harder and harder to maintain this status. There’s a lot less pressure when you think of yourself as less. We should just be who we are. Stop comparing ourselves to others. And somehow (and this is the hard part) learn to be happy with who we are and what we’re doing right now.

]]> By: Jennifer http://happinest.wordpress.com/2008/04/01/the-big-cringe/#comment-1735 Jennifer Wed, 02 Apr 2008 21:23:48 +0000 http://happinest.wordpress.com/?p=463#comment-1735 I want to write so much but I'll just say "ditto" to Phoebe's comment. I want to write so much but I’ll just say “ditto” to Phoebe’s comment.

]]> By: phoebe http://happinest.wordpress.com/2008/04/01/the-big-cringe/#comment-1733 phoebe Wed, 02 Apr 2008 20:59:26 +0000 http://happinest.wordpress.com/?p=463#comment-1733 I totally get why being called a supermom is threatening and feels oppressive. And yet, I also totally understand what your friend sees and admires -- and its clear from the comments above and everyday that I'm not alone. So, I honor your right to disown the title on the basis of hostile cultural undertones, but really, you are inspiring -- as a mom, as a writer, as a person, and as a recovering "alky." Not because you're always getting every thing just right (though, that's a matter of interpretation, of course), but because you're doing it every single day. I'm with PWADJ: memoir. I totally get why being called a supermom is threatening and feels oppressive. And yet, I also totally understand what your friend sees and admires — and its clear from the comments above and everyday that I’m not alone. So, I honor your right to disown the title on the basis of hostile cultural undertones, but really, you are inspiring — as a mom, as a writer, as a person, and as a recovering “alky.” Not because you’re always getting every thing just right (though, that’s a matter of interpretation, of course), but because you’re doing it every single day. I’m with PWADJ: memoir.

]]> By: Brooklyn Mama http://happinest.wordpress.com/2008/04/01/the-big-cringe/#comment-1732 Brooklyn Mama Wed, 02 Apr 2008 20:00:35 +0000 http://happinest.wordpress.com/?p=463#comment-1732 Wait a minute, wait a minute -- super to me means "special" -- and if we're all super than none of us is (are? grammatica?) super. Know what I mean? This is from a slacker mom, by the way, who does think you're super because you've reproduced twice AND manage to work from home. And you take lovely pictures and don't drink when you've had a bad day. Or a good day. I got called supermom when a man overhead me talking with Jasper about the different parts of black holes (on the way home from the planetarium). I'm ashamed to admit it, but it felt good and kind of made up for all the mornings spent in my pjs, tepid coffee in hand. Maybe supermom means exceeding what you thought you were capable of doing? Wait a minute, wait a minute — super to me means “special” — and if we’re all super than none of us is (are? grammatica?) super. Know what I mean?

This is from a slacker mom, by the way, who does think you’re super because you’ve reproduced twice AND manage to work from home. And you take lovely pictures and don’t drink when you’ve had a bad day. Or a good day.

I got called supermom when a man overhead me talking with Jasper about the different parts of black holes (on the way home from the planetarium). I’m ashamed to admit it, but it felt good and kind of made up for all the mornings spent in my pjs, tepid coffee in hand.

Maybe supermom means exceeding what you thought you were capable of doing?

]]> By: What’s in my head « A Vocational Duality http://happinest.wordpress.com/2008/04/01/the-big-cringe/#comment-1731 What’s in my head « A Vocational Duality Wed, 02 Apr 2008 17:51:02 +0000 http://happinest.wordpress.com/?p=463#comment-1731 [...] Sheri wrote: i have taken care of a toddler and worked at home and brought in an income every day for over 17 months without, until recently, any childcare. when did this happen? how the hell do i do that?…. oh god, i might be a supermom. [...] [...] Sheri wrote: i have taken care of a toddler and worked at home and brought in an income every day for over 17 months without, until recently, any childcare. when did this happen? how the hell do i do that?…. oh god, i might be a supermom. [...]

]]> By: Poet With a Day Job http://happinest.wordpress.com/2008/04/01/the-big-cringe/#comment-1730 Poet With a Day Job Wed, 02 Apr 2008 15:44:53 +0000 http://happinest.wordpress.com/?p=463#comment-1730 just to pronounce, first, my unabashed support of your whole parental operation: there's no such fucking thing as a supermom. Our society is OBSESSED with being the best at things. Whether that's playing the violin, or being a mom. So my theory is this: whenever anyone uses that GD term (and yes, always only snarky), they are doing it because they look at someone else and see all the things they are NOT. This makes them feel inferior, and they must resort to name calling so they can feel better about all the ways in which they fail. And the sick truth is: they haven't failed! Everyone has their own priorities, and ways of being! NO one is right, or wrong or the best (as long as you are not beating your kids, or starving them, of course). But the pressures our society places on us are hard to get past. So we do feel like failures. And we do compare. And aren't nice. Secondly: stay-at-home or no (mom, or no, even), you are, right now, doing the thing you really wanted to do, and very well, I might add. I only have one word left for you...memoir. just to pronounce, first, my unabashed support of your whole parental operation: there’s no such fucking thing as a supermom. Our society is OBSESSED with being the best at things. Whether that’s playing the violin, or being a mom. So my theory is this: whenever anyone uses that GD term (and yes, always only snarky), they are doing it because they look at someone else and see all the things they are NOT. This makes them feel inferior, and they must resort to name calling so they can feel better about all the ways in which they fail.

And the sick truth is: they haven’t failed! Everyone has their own priorities, and ways of being! NO one is right, or wrong or the best (as long as you are not beating your kids, or starving them, of course). But the pressures our society places on us are hard to get past. So we do feel like failures. And we do compare. And aren’t nice.

Secondly: stay-at-home or no (mom, or no, even), you are, right now, doing the thing you really wanted to do, and very well, I might add.

I only have one word left for you…memoir.

]]> By: jeanie http://happinest.wordpress.com/2008/04/01/the-big-cringe/#comment-1720 jeanie Wed, 02 Apr 2008 00:41:13 +0000 http://happinest.wordpress.com/?p=463#comment-1720 haha - I loved the post, even though I don't get the American Life bits. Maybe its because when we just do because we have to, it works so much better than if we contemplate? haha – I loved the post, even though I don’t get the American Life bits.

Maybe its because when we just do because we have to, it works so much better than if we contemplate?

]]> By: Ginny http://happinest.wordpress.com/2008/04/01/the-big-cringe/#comment-1719 Ginny Wed, 02 Apr 2008 00:25:42 +0000 http://happinest.wordpress.com/?p=463#comment-1719 Maybe, just maybe, every good mom, every mom who (fairly) consistently tries, who doesn't beat up her kids or abandon them, is super. Maybe, just maybe, every good mom, every mom who (fairly) consistently tries, who doesn’t beat up her kids or abandon them, is super.

]]>